Leaving the Menai Straits, Anglesey, Wales. Photo: Barry Shaw
Pardon me?
This brief but comprehensive British-to-English dictionnaire (for the parts of Great Britain where people actually speak "British", rather than Welsh or Gaelic) will help eliminate most misunderstandings during your next UK kayak trip.
Biscuit - If offered to you (as opposed to a dog): A cookie
Canoe - A kayak
Faggot - English/welsh traditional meat dish, the culinary equivalent to a traffic accident
Carriageway - No, not the special lanes like in Central Park for the horse drawn wagons! In the UK a carriageway refers to a street one would usually refer to as a "highway" (or "autobahn").
Cricket - a) Any of several jumping, orthopterous insects of the family Gryllidae, characterized by long antennas, or b) a game, noted for the absence of any actual players, but featuring a dozen or so of well dressed referees who pass the time waiting for the teams and players to arrive (which actually never happens) by playing some sort of mini golf by using greenland paddles cut in the middle as clubs.
Hoover - Whenever larger quantities of air are moved mechanically, Britons refer to it as a "Hoover", which can be the case with compressed air (like a "Hoover Craft"), or suction technology (like a vacuum cleaner, also a "Hoover"). Vacuum cleaners in Great Britain have temperamental and highly fluctuating degrees of suction, a topic which makes a great piece of daily conversation with neighbors and strangers alike, similar to the weather.
Kit - a) Name of speaking car in popular Knight Rider TV-series, or b) in a marine environment "kit" refers to your "kayak gear" (spray deck, paddles etc.)
Loo - A restroom
Restroom - Small quarter furnished with a bed for nurses or airline pilots etc. to nap
Lay-by - Parking area off a carriageway, often used as a depository for unwanted mattresses etc.
L Plate - (A red L sticker on back of cars) Means the driver is a "learner" (as opposed to a leper)
Pasty - Pastry filled with substance similar in appearance and texture to cat food, but tasty
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you to the countless people, especially the following, who helped me on my way around Great Britain:
- Barry Shaw, Justine Curgenven, and Phil Clegg.
- Peter Orton, Jason, Chris, Nick and the rest of the crew at Valley Canoe Products in Nottingham.
- The volunteer Coast Guard crew in Wells-Next-The-Sea
- The volunteers at the RNLI station in Ramsgate
- The sailors from the Pevensay Bay Sailing Club, especially Gordon Bishop
- The fishermen of the Selsey Bill Fishing Co-Op, especially Richard
- Clive Ashley and Joey Hurdley in Bridport
- Seymour Sough, Highcliffe Sailing Club
- Richard, Seb, and Steph at the RNLI station in Sennen Cove, Cornwall
- Mickey from the RNLI lifeguard station in Bude, Cornwall
- The fishermen of the small fishing community in Bude, especially Tom
- Tom Ludlington, St. David
- The volunteers at the Pwhelli RNLI station, Wales
- David, caretaker of Hillbre Island
- Coxswain Paul from the RNLI station in Fleetwood
- Eddie and Shawn McGuire, Isle of Whithorn, Scotland
- Donald in Southend, Scotland
- James Watt, from the Old Ferryhouse in Glenels
- Roger Beeson, Laide, Scotland
- Bob and Phyll Cross, Droman Pier, Scotland (and Cornwall)
- Ross, harbormaster in Thurso/Scrabster
- Donald Sutherland, fisherman and skipper of 'Iona', Lybster
- Trevor, Irene, Mack, Terry and Rhona in Dunbeath, my now, because of you, 2nd home in Scotland
- John McPherson, fisherman and skipper of 'Ella' in Buckie
- Sid Harrison in Buckie, for giving me a new camping stove
- Sheila and Eric from the Buchan Ness Lighthouse
- Ant and Biffo from Aberdeen (and Saunders Island, Falkland Islands)
- Margaret and Bryan in Fife Ness
- The crews from the Coast Guard station in Fife Ness
- Graham from the "Honey Pot" coffee shop in Anstruther
- Billie, fisherman and skipper of the 'Wavedancer' in St. Abbs
- Margaret and Kenny Lamb, Hartlepool
- Hugh at the RNLI station in Whithby
- Simon and Oksana in Skegness for throwing the "Around the World in 80 Days" party and BarBQ after I landed back in Skegness
...and
everyone else who helped me along my way around the UK. Thank you to
you all! It was inspiring to see how beautifully and gracefully you
treated a smelly and dirty traveler who knocked, mostly at nights, on
your door.
Thank you all!!!